July 12, 2004 | Tags: Ramblings
Hmm. Quite the unexpected blast from the past, that (see previous entry about having just found my old blog).
That, and the recent interview by a psychologist (the term “psychological interview” is just too cute, except it comes from PSC), have made me realise various things about myself, most of which are really rather trivial. I present them in no particular order.
a) My web personality’s much more subdued nowadays. I blame age. Where are my random made-up words? The ridiculous rants? The alliterated articles (of speech)? Ok I forced that one a bit too much, ouch.
b) I apparently haven’t thought much about what drives me and/or who I am, fun shit like that. I tried explaining to Dr Robers that it’s not a problem I mull over much because, well, it’s not a problem. It’s not a problem in any code I need to debug, it’s not some math problem I need to solve, it’s not some conjured-up army “crisis” my boss panics over and delegates everything to me to handle. Am I really missing out on something by being content with who I am and calling it quits on the introspection?
c) Not a self-observation, but it was amusing to hear Dr Robers ask “you STILL haven’t passed your IPPT?”.
d) I do seem a lot happier with my life nowadays. Despite the recent spate of events convincing me of the inadequacy of still being single (as in nothing’s changed since JC within those terms), I don’t fall into that whole rut of feeling like crap when things don’t work out and then further extrapolating it all into the general suckiness of my life and how I haven’t found a girlfriend or anything what’s wrong with me etc etc etc. It’s a pleasantly surprising turn, especially since I was still more than slightly miserable over Jess about a year and a bit ago. Maybe it’s because that part of life’s been rather uncomplicated since I got back, maybe I’ve forced it into uncomplication (ref the unfortunate attempt at being set up). Hmm. In any case, seem less bitter. Interesting.
e) More self-conscious in presenting myself, definitely so on the web and perhaps more so with the psychologist than I would have been in the past. Then again, I did type and retype things to my complete liking before I posted them before, but my old posts seemed just much less… inhibited. Or something.
Maybe I should post the old blog somewhere to actually demonstrate this difference. Or not. Too embarrassing.
Ah well, the rest of the update:
Picture from class reunion at RJC reunion at Mt Sinai campus a couple of months back. So old, we all (except The Tick! SPOOOON!!!! Sorry). Apparently my CO was there too.
What else? Spider-Man 2 rocked. Couple of friends got engaged (separate incidents, I mean). Congratulations!! Work situation’s still stupid, boss needs to learn to calm down and do some things himself to ensure some quality control. But whatever. People at work still as ridiculous as ever. Am I consigned to such boring company forever? I don’t see the civil service being much of an improvement (though presumably general maturity levels will be higher). Spider-Man 2 rocked big freakin time. Ummm.
– The Art of Doing Science and Engineering, Richard Hamming (yes, that guy)
– A Wild Sheep Chase, Haruki Murakami
– Timequake, Kurt Vonnegut
That’s all for this time.