yjsoon

Carwash, originally uploaded by yjsoon.

Sunday morning at the nearby gas station.

Reading just the first line of this headline on my STI widget got me all excited for nothing –

Aiyah, just “free net porn” would’ve been great.

From a class today:

Prof: Can anyone name a Ministry of Education initiative from the last few years?
Trainee Teacher: “Thinking Schools, Learning Nation”?
Prof: Yes, that’s right. One of the MOE initiatives was thinking.

Ah, an initiative for thinking. What would we have done without MOE?

This is way too much fun not to read/watch over and over again: Scott McClellan, White House Press Secretary, gets grilled over Karl Rove’s Leakgate.

QUESTION: Scott, this is ridiculous. The notion that you’re going to stand before us, after having commented with that level of detail, and tell people watching this that somehow you’ve decided not to talk. You’ve got a public record out there. Do you stand by your remarks from that podium or not?

MCCLELLAN: I’m well aware, like you, of what was previously said. And I will be glad to talk about it at the appropriate time. The appropriate time is when the investigation…

QUESTION: (inaudible) when it’s appropriate and when it’s inappropriate?

MCCLELLAN: If you’ll let me finish.

QUESTION: No, you’re not finishing. You’re not saying anything. You stood at that podium and said that Karl Rove was not involved. And now we find out that he spoke about Joseph Wilson’s wife. So don’t you owe the American public a fuller explanation. Was he involved or was he not? Because contrary to what you told the American people, he did indeed talk about his wife, didn’t he?

MCCLELLAN: *whimper*

Ok, that last bit was my addition. Anyway, video here, transcript here (via the del.icio.us popular video RSS feed).

Grant Morrison (writer of The Filth and New X-Men), tells Comic Book Wire:

Quite recently, a gold crown broke out of Morrison’s mouth while he was eating. He accidentally swallowed the crown, which wouldn’t have been such a big deal were it not for the outrageous cost of replacement: $1600. In a truly remarkable display of thriftiness, the writer spent the next several days digging through his own waste with a spoon trying to find that gold crown, even developing new systems to increase efficiency along the way. “I was shitting in a bag!” Morrison laughed. “But before I’d discovered the technology, I was shitting in the sink!”

Tragically, the crown was never recovered. When asked if he would have put such a thing back into his mouth even if he had found it, Morrison replied, “That’s the real question, isn’t it? It’s like Sophie’s Choice.”

Aaargh.

(11:37:41) eek: now whut
(11:37:44) me: i dunno
(11:37:47) me: i have so much free time
(11:40:42) eek: gee, apparently you spend your free time repeating yourself aimlessly
(11:40:53) me: i do?
(11:40:57) me: but i have so much free time
(11:41:08) eek: shaddupa you face

Normal people would go: “oh man, I have so much work to do, but I keep procrastinating.”

Neil Gaiman, writer of many fantastic things, on the other hand:

Work beckons.

Actually right now it doesn’t beckon; instead it holds up a megaphone in front of its mouth and is shouting “OY!” through it, and then making rude gestures as soon as it’s got my attention.

With the +2 font and all, too.

From designer Jon Hicks, who was travelling to SXSW and encountered one of those voice-activated help-lines when calling about his missing bags.

“Please state your last name after the tone I’msorryIdidn’thearthat.”
?!!

“Please state your last name.”
HICKS

“I think you said Hickson. H-i-c-k-s-o-n. Is this correct, please state yes or no”
NO!!

“You said no. Lets try again. Please state your last name”
HICKS

“I think you said Heaters. H-e-a-t-e-r-s. Is this correct, please state yes or no”
NOOOOOOO!!!

“Thankyou, accesssing your records now. (bidee-bidee-bidup-bidee-bidee-bidee). Thankyou for waiting Mr Heaters, your baggage arrived yesterday…”

Poor results for British accent over a voice-recognition system in Texas? Who’d’ve thunk.

As I’ve previously mentioned, I manage my unit’s personnel database (with the servicemen’s NRIC, medical PES status, date of birth, phone numbers, etc.) — nominal rolls, in military-speak. Today, my Company Sergeant-Major walked into the office at the end of the day to ask for some manpower info:

CSM: I need someone to help me manage the gym. Can help me find from your nominal rolls someone from the company lines who’s PES C and can make it one?

Me: No problem encik… I send you a list of the PES C people tomorrow (side note: end of the day mah, going home already).

CSM: Eh, must be those can make it one leh.

Me: Aiyah, encik, my nominal rolls don’t have a column for whether someone can make it or not.

CSM: #%@^%*&!!

I’m not sure why this amused me so much.

Honestly, I had no idea what Pulau Hantu was (Google)… but this was the reply I got from one Luis A. Escobedo after I mentioned to the old drawgroup that I’m planning on visiting the Bay Area in May.

Sheeet, after a year and a half of dodging bullets and seducing Malaysian hookers I wonder what sort of man our little YJ has grown up to be? Is he still the fun loving, chocoholic, international player we all left him as? Or has his blood turned cold with his wartime training like the ancient Malay warriors of Pulau Hantu, who would fight to the death armed only with bamboo and a loin cloth. I don’t know… but it keeps me up at night.

Most of the ridiculous references I can understand, but where the hell did he get Pulau Hantu from?!

Ah, the good old days when I didn’t have to bother making much sense… I’m looking forward to this trip so very, very much. I hope I remember to buy plane tickets.