I’ve been having a cough. It’s one of those super annoying ones where you lie down and are ready to go to sleep, and then your throat relaxes and you proceed to cough your brains out.
So I went to see the doctor, and picked up this set of antibiotics that I’m supposed to take before meals.
But wait! Not just before meals — that would be too simple — half an hour before meals.
This, naturally, drives me insane:
- I mean, what am I supposed to do if I forget, and eat first? Do I stop eating, take the medicine, and wait half an hour looking sadly at my food going cold?
- What if I don’t wait a full half hour before having my meal — does that render the medicine ineffective?
- Or, if I tried to plan it out, what if I take the medicine, expecting to have food in half an hour, but then I fail to procure anything edible? Can I snack on something, does that even count? But it’s not a meal, and the instructions say “before meals”!
- Also, when does the half hour countdown start? From when the pill enters my throat? But I have to take two — do I start timing from the first or second? Should I take both at the same time? What if they don’t reach my stomach at the sae time? Wait, that’s right, what if the timing’s not from the point of swallowing, and that’s just an estimate for when it reaches the stomach? WHAT IF MY OESOPHAGUS IS ABNORMALLY LONG??!
My life is now an endless tormented guessing game. Thanks a lot, doctor.